If I were the boss


The boss of a big corporate organisation would probably function something like this…

“Talk to to corporate (like a boss)
Lead a workshop (like a boss)
Remember birthdays (like a boss)
Direct workflow (like a boss)
My own bathroom (like a boss)
Micromanage (like a boss)
Promote Synergy (like a boss)
Hit on Debra (like a boss)
Get rejected (like a boss)
Send some faxes (like a boss)
Cry deeply (like a boss)
Demand a refund (like a boss)
Eat a bagel (like a boss)
Harrassment lawsuit (like a boss)
No promotion (like a boss)”

The above are lyrics (slightly altered here for PG purposes ;P) from a song called ‘Like a boss’ by The Lonely Island . This song connects with the stigma of a boss being that lazy guy at the top of the corporate food chain.

How many of you, in the beginning stages of your careers have experienced that feeling toward your boss?

The fact of the matter is, even if your boss may seem like a ‘slapgat’ (lazy-ass), the fact that you are happily employed and that business is flowing greatly is a sign of great leadership, because he’s employed the correct people to keep you satisfied!

RIGHT!? I’m sure that if you were in his position you would want to have your own bathroom too! Leadership is hard work, because it means making crucial decisions.

If I were the boss I would be loved by all my subordinates, because I’d never show them that I was actually doing nothing while watching them implement my brilliant ideas!

After all, once I brief them on what they have to do they work for the money I give them to live off! If I was an idiot I’d keep my cash for myself and run the business all on my own… and possibly die trying.

The business environment is a funny thing, but you have to admit you’re intrigued by the politics of it all.

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5 responses to “If I were the boss

  1. The song (and your view on being the boss) is so true. Most people do feel that they are doing all the work and the boss doesn’t lift a finger, but employees get paid a salary to do that job. No-one pays the boss a salary! Yes of course the boss makes a lot of money out of the profit, but he had to rip out a few hundred thousand to get it all started and to get every employee in the position they are in.
    I love the way you linked the song to your message, they support one another perfectly! Great blogging Boss, now go tap yourself on the shoulder while enjoying that bagel!

  2. nicolefernandes

    like i said love your blogs and hope I can write like you one day… your perception on bosses is interesting. one must remember that boss went through all what that employee is going through- that is the work cycle, therfore it is the bosses turn to relax and give the orders and seem ‘lazy’. at the end of the day business is successfull on how much work boss puts into it.

  3. As funny as that is I still love Slim Thug’s version. I could jam out to that at work all day, & we have so much in common! *snicker snicker*

    We’re both part time rhymers, but I’m a full time records clerk, not a hustler (thank you liberal art’s degree).

    Filing records (like a boss)
    Making coffee (like a boss)
    Getting yelled at (like a boss)
    Have a smoke break (like a boss)
    flm (like a boss)

  4. The Idea workers create of their Boss is generally under rated as they forget that when they clock out for the day and go home relaxed to their loved ones where boss never does, therefore boss is never really as relaxed and lazy as boss might seem to be. This begs the question: Is it then really so wrong for Boss to have a few extra perks to make boss’ 24/7 job just that little more comfortable to allow Boss to get by without losing boss’ head?

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